Sophisticated with a hint of slutty
Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Floss.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows.

Sometimes i am Bob, sometimes i am Linda.

gossipgran:

i hit rock bottom like every 2 weeks

ireallyhatecornnuts:

I’ve got 99 problems and my inability to self motivate is causing every single one of them.

bestnatesmithever:

How we all look while trying to navigate adulthood

bestnatesmithever:

How we all look while trying to navigate adulthood

aaeries:

ikindawanttoslaythedragon:

a family friend of mine is a gigantic book/movie/tv nerd and when she married her husband their biggest struggle was the fact that they now had two copies of every book, dvd, and boxed set and that is the kind of marriage I aspire to have

That is so beautiful.

metallics:

realizing you’re nobody’s best friend or favourite person is actually so sad

faunagrey:

kxsxy:

Pros of wearing all black: looks so badass

Cons: everyone knows I had powdered donuts

This didn’t go the direction I expected. It was much better.

haaaaaaaveyoumetted:

this show gives no fucks

east coasters: i drove through 17 states on the way to work
west coasters: i have been traveling in this desert for 49 years. generations have died. children have been born. when will i make it to the promised land
Midwesterners: I haven't left a 20 mile radius in 2 years
Floridians: It just won't end. Why won't it end. How far north do I have to go before I get to the south.

"Judging people you don’t know for things you don’t understand is just really stupid."

ifpaintingscouldtext:

Robert Reid | Fleur de Lis | c.1895-1900 

ifpaintingscouldtext:

Robert Reid | Fleur de Lis | c.1895-1900 

kissmeok:

♡Love/Couples♡

kissmeok:

♡Love/Couples♡

videogame challenge: 7 videogames


What do you think makes you so driven? 
I’m not sure I know, but having been an obedient and nerdy kid, I’m very driven to receive praise. If I were a smarter person, I’d be driven to receive money. I’m a dope—all I want is, “That was real good. Looks like you guys worked real hard on that.” It’s always parent-teacher conference day in my mind.

What do you think makes you so driven? 

I’m not sure I know, but having been an obedient and nerdy kid, I’m very driven to receive praise. If I were a smarter person, I’d be driven to receive money. I’m a dope—all I want is, “That was real good. Looks like you guys worked real hard on that.” It’s always parent-teacher conference day in my mind.